Drug urine tests to control employees are becoming more common among companies. Some professionals like military personnel or air hostesses have been dealing with these tests for some time now. The regular cannabis smoker who undergoes this test has to face a difficult dilemma: quit smoking or fool the test. There are many conversations on this topic in the internet but no consensus at all. Which method is the most effective?
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If you are willing to quit smoking for a couple of weeks obviously your first goal is... to quit smoking. Then you have to clean your organism of THC, a difficult task because it gets stored in the fat and doesn’t go away easily.
Express detox tips:
- Exercise and drink tons of water to metabolize the THC in tour body.
- According to mum’s advice, drink artichoke broth.
- Buy some herbalist radish pills.
- Fill your stomach on test day and cross your fingers.
The good boy method doesn’t guarantee success and it requires quitting dope. For those who aren’t willing to give up the habit, these are the real tricks.
Dilute the sample with water
Dilution is the process of reducing the metabolites concentration of drug in the sample. Basically you add some water (which you’ll have to introduce in the test somehow) to your urine test. There’s no sink in the test room and toilet water is usually dyed blue. Furthermore, you have to manage to keep the sample warm because most labs register the urine’s temperature. If the sample is too colorless, it will raise suspicion. Be careful.
Buy some Zydot Euro Blend
This sort of milkshake made from carbohydrates and natural herbs gets rid of toxins, improves digestion and increases blood flow. One hour after drinking, your urine should be pure of THC for 4 to 5 hours. To make it work you have to follow the product instructions to the letter.
Adulterate the sample
Some people pour a couple of drops of bleach in the urine sample. Also if you pour in chlorine, the reagent subsequently used to detect the drug won’t change color. These methods of adulteration are messy, do not guarantee anything and require the sneaking of a liquid container. If you're going to sneak in anything, better someone else’s urine or synthetic urine. Here’s the key point.
The change-up
Urine tests are private, which means that someone will give you a vessel and guide you to a bathroom where you’ll pee in the most relaxing privacy. It’s reasonable. I wouldn’t be able to pee if someone is staring at my peanus as if it was the first alien on Earth. Therefore, you ask a good clean friend to go with you to the test and before stepping in you ask him to pee in a small vessel which you introduce in the test. You make the change-up in the bathroom and done. This way the sample keeps warm. When everything is over you’ll have to pay all your buddy’s drinks.
The fake peanus
If the test personnel end up staring at your peanus as if it was an alien, Germans (highly evolved people) have invented the ‘Screenyweeny’. This silicon peanus is connected to a plastic bag through a valve. In the bag you introduce synthetic urine and done. You can choose black or white penis. Imagine I’m, let’s say, German white and I pull out a black peanus. Lol. The only setbacks are that the temperature of the sample might end up cool and that the device is quite expensive. Hey! Wait a minute. What about vaginas? Women smoke and fool urine tests too!
Some years ago, if you were caught smoking on the street, you could avoid the fine –usually around 300 Euros− by attending a 6 months detox program with monthly urine tests. Under the new Spanish Citizen Security Law or commonly known as Clamp Law, the detox option disappears and fines increase to a minimum of 1000 Euros. Are you kidding me? Nope, 1000 Euros for smoking a joint on the street. Really, it sounds like a bad joke but this is how Spain works. This is the reason why users like this one are going to find it more expensive to smoke it in front of the pigs or in this case, pañocos.